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After a weekend of tears, kindness, understanding, and patience, Nick has now decided that staying with me is the right choice. He proposed this to me today. No matter what would happen, I had decided I would never have hard feelings about a break up, and that I would make the best in whatever position I created or found myself. It never crossed my mind that Nick would ever dump me, and it didn’t cross my mind that he would have such a swift realization as to what he truly wanted since the breakup. Now I am in a weird state of mind and heart. Do just let myself be whipped around by Nick’s indecision and confusion? Do I just admit that I do understand his position and just relax back into the relationship with a continued passion? On the one hand, I am in love with Nick and can easily accept a life with him indefinitely. On the other hand, considering his inability to accept the reality of responsibility to nurture an indefinite commitment, I might need to be more focused on my career and casual dating?

I don’t know… I do know that my relationship with Nick would never “end” or “die”, but it would always find a means to grow to accommodate our growth as friends first.

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