Reading time: 2 – 2 minutes
Uggh… Just the mere hint of that song galloping through my brain is enough to distract me from my truly aching heart. But it’s still there… a constricting, aching feeling; odd and painful, yet metaphysical and beautiful.
Carlos is out of the country for 8 days. As if that isn’t bad enough, it’s in a place where communications are not quite that accessible. He’s in Colombia. I don’t even think his cell phone works there and he didn’t know if he would be able to access the internet at all. Well, it’s been one full day since he left and no contact, so I am assuming it’s not quite technologically abundant where he is.
So I have this weird distraction, aching, longing feeling. Like when someone dies. Like the feeling that you know that person is okay, that he loves you, that you love him, and that you will be okay, but the intensity of that division and inability to TOUCH one another in some way… that’s the hard part.
I can’t wait until he comes home. Until then, I will have all kinds of retarded, cheesy songs dancing through my noggin like some evil little troll choruses on crack.
Thank god I don’t listen to pop music that often. I would be terrorized by my own head culture. Still, as actively as I remove myself from the mainstream of musical cheese (I am vegan, you know, heh heh), it still amazes me that I end up KNOWING these awful songs and that they are forced into my life.
I don’t know which is worse: missin’ Carlos, or being reunited with horrible pop songs that lay dormant in my poor, little, sad head.
I will be strong.
I will survive.
(ohhhhh… as long as i know how to love, i know i’ll be alive…)
SEEE!!! Anything can set me off now!