….of Love and Colors

Reading time: 2 – 4 minutes

As I unpack into my new home, I feel the daunting task of rebuilding, redecorating, getting caught up with work, and generally finding my footing again in life. I have never experienced such a bizarre balance of sadness and anger along with happiness and freedom. It’s very disorienting and I am curious as to what the next few months will bring after so many changes are being made.

Sometimes the pessimistic bug bites, and bites hard, and you gotta get it out of your system. In times like this, it is a relief to have reminders from artists, music, other people, and life, in general, that everything will be okay… it is always okay in the end. Right now my mood is a bit off, because of the changes in my life along with the very disturbing atrocities happening in the world around us.

I know that I will be okay, and that PEOPLE will eventually get it right, but until then, I need to vent occasionally.

Sometimes we just fuck up…


All us fucked-up people
What are we gonna do with ourselves
And our addictions
And our desire to kill each other
And special things
your own dreams?

All us fucked-up people
Can’t we see behind the pain of losing?

I had a dream of love and colors,
And all the while it seemed real,
And in this dream, we were unique.
Couldn’t it be?

I wasn’t cryin’ before he died,
He died so young
And I can’t see you anymore,
‘Cause there’s no answers here,
There’s no feeling.

All us fucked-up people,
Can’t we see beyond the pain of losing one another?

I had this dream of trust and beauty,
And all the while, it seemed real,
And in this dream, we were not fighting.
Couldn’t it be?

You gave it up,
You lost your reason.
You never saw you are unique.
You spread your wings and cut ’em off.
You’re only hurting.

All our fucked-up smiles
We quit dreaming long ago
And our distrust and our addictions
And our desire to kill each other
makes all the sense in the world

You just fucked up for a moment
You’re only hurting
That’s just like me
That’s just like me
That’s just like me

I had this dream of love and colors

2 thoughts on “….of Love and Colors”

  1. You’re just like me and many others, Troy. We all get off-track and feel lost and get sick of starting over. We get sick of trying and trying.

    Like several others in this life, I see you. I see the beautiful threads you weave through space & time, and how you make beauty happen — in people and in things. You are just fine.

    Right now, you’re exactly where you “should” be. Don’t worry. You have people around you to catch you if you fall. I know you’ll be fine. And you’ll be happy in the very near future. How do I know this? DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!! I KNOW!!

    Love, Nick

  2. Thanks, Nick. That’s very comforting. Yeah, these moods pass, eventually, and it always seems so strange that they were so heavy at the time.

    Love you.


Leave a Reply