Double Whammy Week

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This is not a fun week for me, emotionally. Not only do I have the healing of my recently being erased from my boyfriend’s life, but I have to get through our “month-iversary,” too. We always celebrated each month. So romantic and sweet. September 3 is going to be a tough day, people.

AND

Today is Taren’s Birthday. Another person who suddenly, without explanation, rejected me coldly through email. I was the only one who took time to celebrate her birthday with her last year. I hope she’s surrounded by people whom she loves and who care for her this time around. I don’t know… maybe she will feel nostalgic and peruse here, remembering something good. If that’s the only gift I am allowed to give her, then so be it.

God, it’s so easy to make a case for my being some kind of a repulsive loser, but I continue to keep one step ahead of that idea consuming me. I really don’t know what makes me so unwanted by some people, and yeah, MOST of the time I know that this is more about that other person’s choices than it is about me and my worth, but you know…

IT JUST SUCKS.

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