Paraphrasing Perpetual Stupidity of Heart

Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes


CONVERSATION PARAPHRASE ONE

HE: Troy, I have something to tell you.
ME: What?
HE: Seriously, don’t get mad.
ME: WHAT?!
HE: This is something important about your move here.
ME: WHAT!
HE: There’s only one way to say it…
ME: WHAT!?? My god, WHAT??
HE: I
HE: LOVE
HE: YOU!
ME: Oh you little snot!
HE: Hee Hee

CONVERSATION PARAPHRASE TWO
HE: Hey babe!
ME: Awww… HI!
HE: Well, I’ve been thinkin and there’s something you should know about me before you get here.
ME: What, babe?
HE: It’s something big, so maybe I should call you.
ME: WHAT? Oh my god, WHAT?
HE: You gotta be understanding about this, okay?
ME: Of course, no worries… what?
HE: Well…
ME: WHAT??
HE: I
HE: LOVE
HE: YOU
ME: Ohhhh youuuuu!

CONVERSATION PARAPHRASE THREE
HE: Oh, I have to tell you what happened today!
ME: WHAT! Oh, exciting!
HE: Not really, it might upset you.
ME: Oh god, what.
HE: Just promise not to be mad?
ME: For real… what? Why would I be mad?
HE: I dunno, but I just thought I should be honest about it.
ME: S’okay… what happened.
HE: I
HE: LOVE
HE: YOU
ME: D’oh! Alright! This is getting old!

CONVERSATION PARAPHRASE FOUR
HE: Oh god.
ME: What?
HE: I didn’t tell you yet.
ME: What, babe?
HE: I have made some plans that might change our plans for your coming here.
ME: WHAT?! What happened?
HE: Well, what was I supposed to do?!
ME: I don’t understand… what happened? What plans?
HE: That…
ME: What!
HE: That I love you…
ME: Oh GODDAMMIT this is getting ridiculous! I’m not falling for it again!

CONVERSATION PARAPHRASE FIVE
HE: I’ve never lived with anyone before, so bear with me, okay?
ME: No worries, I know it will be an adjustment for both of us.
HE: Seriously, there are other things to think about, too.
ME: Well, I’ve always lived with someone and I know what it’s like to need space, so no worries.
HE: But this is going to be your home, too.
ME: I know, but I’m very considerate about other people’s space, so you just let me know and…
HE: Well, and then…
ME: What?
HE: The other thing you should know about living with me.
ME: What?
HE: I should have told you before you bought your ticket.
ME: Babe, I can deal… what.
HE: Ur gonna have to deal with this,
ME: What?! Don’t worry about it. What?
HE: I love you.
ME: GODDAMMIT! Stop that! I keep having anxiety attacks!
HE: I know. It’s funny.
ME: I’m NOT falling for it again.
HE: Yes you will.

CONVERSATION PARAPHRASE SIX
HE: How’s it goin babe!?
ME: Well, I’m very upset today. I have to tell you something big.
HE: What?
ME: Make sure you are sitting down. This could be a shock.
HE: What… that you love me?
ME: GODDAMMIT!!!
HE: ur stupid.
ME: stupid in love.
HE: me too

CONVERSATION PARAPHRASE SEVEN
HE: (same old same old setup)
ME: (same old same old GODDAMMIT!)
HE: u should blog about this
ME: I will, dammit!

So I did.

So here’s to being stupid-anxious in love and uprooting your entire existence to move to another continent and country so you can follow your heart and not being embarrassed about how idiotic you look along the way.

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