The Music of Muse

Reading time: 12 – 19 minutes

This week was filled with strange dreams involving a couple of my muses in this life: Chris Garneau and Elizabeth Fraser. The truth about these muses is that I have no real idea about their personal lives, their personal integrity, their personal paths… but their art has changed my life. Or maybe I should say, it makes my life better than I imagine it would be without them. Along with several other artists in this life, they have become soundtracks to the inner space of me. And for some reason, I was visited with inspiration this week in the form of both Chris and Elizabeth.

My Chris Dream:

I dreamt I was attending some kind of ballet class for some reason and Chris happened to show up for that same class. I behaved as I would normally behave around someone who inspires me or toward whom I am in awe and I just did what I came to do, letting myself be thrilled, but not letting that spill over to invade Chris’s space. But he kept coming up to me and laughing and touching me and engaging me and I felt tremendously at ease. We started acting silly and doing obnoxious dance poses… at one point, I remember his leaving the room and then suddenly spinning through the doorway, round and round and round until he was dizzy! We fell down together laughing, onto the floor against the wall. I realized I was leaning back onto him and that my hand was on his leg. I pulled my hand back and sat up quickly, but discreetly, continuing to laugh with him. Without any awkwardness, he reached for my hand, placed it back on his leg, and pulled me back into him, continuing to talk and laugh with me. It was extremely comforting. He whispered into my ear, “Don’t forget. I know you.”

My Elizabeth Dream:

I wish I could remember more of this because I NEVER dream of Elizabeth. What I remember is being shocked that she showed up somewhere where I was and that she was looking forward to meeting me! She showed up carrying packages and she was all frenetic and talkative and running around… I remember asking if she preferred to be called “Elizabeth” or “Liz,” and she said, “anything, but Lizzy!” and I remember thinking that name had never even occurred to me. I don’t remember much more than that, except that we were talking and talking and talking and it was hyper and excited. I do remember one phrase that stood out… she said, “we all end up singing our own lullabies.”

So in honor of two of my muses visiting me in my dreams, I am putting together a MuxTape to share! Please take time to listen and enjoy. I’ve included some lyrics below to help you fall into this space within and maybe hear this music from between the worlds more intimately. So open the playlist into one page, and listen along with this page!

COCTEAUBOY JULY MUXTAPE

Playlist with Lyrics:

Cocteau Twins – MY TRUTH

You become powerful as you are accepting
You can work through the pain or enjoy more pleasure
Commit to the work of both
If you love all this energy, the chemistry

And you can work through the pain or enjoy more pleasure

and you can, you can work
through the pain
or enjoy more pleasure
and you can, you can work
through the pain
and come home to peace

It’s frightening, exciting
Something shakes up our old understanding
The truth is more powerful
Are you fools, and confused to say
that I’m not angry

and you can, you can work
through the pain
or enjoy more pleasure
and you can, you can work
through the pain
and come home to peace

I’ll remember my secret
I’ll write it down and never tell it
It’s not more fear outside of myself
that can save me

And you can work through the pain or enjoy more pleasure

Chris Garneau – TRY ME

Go ahead and try things on me
Maybe it’ll bring you things you’ve never seen
It’s a try, guaranteed
You can take whatever you need
Only skin remains
The winds blow it away
the guts and my brains
I’m as lonely as a stone
The one left behind
Never picked up and thrown

No more tired, you
I’m sure you love me, you do
You can touch me, still
Try me, then leave me
The way that you will
I can’t wait
I can’t wait

Just wanna see a beautiful face
One that won’t last
But one I can’t erase
Like that moon or lunar ambush
Comes in so soon
Turns my dreams to mush

No more tired, you
I’m sure you love me, you do
You can touch me, still
Try me, then leave me
The way that you will
I can’t wait
I can’t wait

I save everything like files
Your smile
My wounds
Your Dark
And your Light
Your joke
Your smoke
Your lovely
So when do you think we could love?

Told you it’s a try, guarantee
I said you can take whatever you need
Come on
Come on
Come on

No more tired, you
I’m sure you love me, you do
You can touch me, still
Try me, then leave me
The way that you will
I can’t wait
I can’t wait

Cocteau Twins – ROUND

I, I will stay focused
When the thoughts do land
It’s positive reinforcement
This sense of movement

This space, enjoy it

It gives me a new sense of progress
To this new life, a capacity to improve
Yes, I will, I will stay focused
When the thoughts do land

This space, enjoy it

This space, enjoy it
because because because…
the wheel turns

This space, enjoy it
because because because…
the wheel turns

Chris Garneau – SO FAR

Like the touch of my mother’s hand on my head
I’ll miss you, too, when I go to bed
We’ve ruined all the new pots
And the metal in the egg crate cots
But we haven’t missed a good day of television, yet, so far
No we haven’t missed a good day of television, yet, so far

The dishwasher’s on now, cleaning, somehow
The baby bits of hamburger helper that dried too soon
We leave out the milk and it rots
and the mayonnaise that we got from Top’s
But we haven’t missed a good day of eating good food, yet, so far
But we haven’t missed a good day of eating good food, yet, so far

You love good
but I think you should
go home, honey
cuz we haven’t got any money

You love good
but I think you should
go home, honey
cuz we haven’t got any money

Like the touch of my mother’s hand on my head
I’ll miss you, too, when I go to bed
We’ve ruined all the new pots
And the metal in the egg crate cots
we haven’t missed a good day of television, yet, so far
No we haven’t missed a good day of television, yet, so far
we haven’t missed a good day of television, yet, so far

Elizabeth and Jeff Buckley – ALL FLOWERS IN TIME BEND TOWARD THE SUN

Elizabeth:
My eyes have baptismal views
I’m singing into my fires for a hand, I’m lost

Jeff:
All flowers in time bend toward the sun
I know you say that there’s no one for you
but here is one
All flowers in time bend toward the sun
I know you say that there is no one for you
But here is one
Here is one
Here is one

Both:
All flowers in time bend toward the sun
I know you say that there’s no one for you
but here is one
All flowers in time bend toward the sun
I know you say that there’s no one for you
but here is one
but here is one

Jeff:
Keep it growing in me
Wicked traveler
Say it ain’t farther from me
with your face in my window glow
oh where will you wait for me, sweet willow

Elizabeth:
It’s okay to be angry
but not to hurt me
oh darling…

Both:
All flowers in time bend toward the sun
I know you say that there’s no one for you
but here is one

Chris Garneau – RELIEF

I saw the sea come in
I saw your good old friend
He walked right past
I’ll never ask
I’ll never ask again

I saw the sea come in
I saw your good old friend
He walked right past
I’ll never ask
I’ll never ask again

I love the way you dance
Oh we can work it all out
Don’t you miss your chance
The pain, it will all grow out

I heard your good ole word
I heard the things you said
They all shuffled in
As medicine, as medicine in red

I heard your good ole word
I heard the things you said
They all shuffled in
As medicine, as medicine in red

I love the way you dance
Oh we can work it all out
Don’t you miss your chance
The pain will all grow out

I didn’t go to see the city
I went to see it around you
Oh we can laugh in hell together
The devil will find you, too

Nose to nose
and eyes all closed
This is what I said
would never ever end

Nose to nose
and eyes all closed
This is what I said
would never ever end

I saw the sea come in
I saw your good old friend
He walked right past
I’ll never ask
I’ll never ask again

Chris Garneau – BETWEEN THE BARS

drink up baby
stay up all night
the things you could do
you won’t but you might
the potential you’ll be
that you’ll never see
the promises you’ll only make

drink up with me now
and forget all about
the pressure of days
and do what i say
and i’ll make you okay
and drive them away
the images stuck in your head

the people you’ve been before
that you don’t want ’round anymore
or that push and shove
and won’t bend to your will
i’ll keep them still

drink up baby
look at the stars
i’ll kiss you again
between the bars
where i’m seeing you there
with your hands in the air
you’re waiting to finally be caught

drink up one more time
and i’ll make you mine
i’ll keep you apart
deep in my heart
separate than the rest
where i like you the best
and keep the things you forgot

the people you’ve been before
that you don’t want around anymore
or that push and shove
and won’t bend to your will
i’ll keep them still

the people you’ve been before
that you don’t want ’round anymore
or that push and shove
and won’t bend to your will
i’ll keep them still

Cocteau Twins – SEA, SWALLOW ME
no lyrics

Chris Garneau – BLACKOUT

I, I was kidding about the mean things
While we were sleeping
Heat rushed in, Heat rushed
The fan stopped, the fan stopped
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Flashlights in delis
Drinking on the street
All the lights are out in New York City

And it never ever will be
Too damned late
To run inside the market place

I, I’ll be quiet then
in middle of you talking
when we’re walking
thoughts rush in
those thoughts rush in
the heart stops, the heart stops
oh, oh, oh, oh

Flashlights in delis
Drinking on the street
All the lights are out in New York City

And it never ever will be
Too damned late
To run inside the market place

I sit by the window
and I watch all of the little
raindrops, raindrops
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…

Dif Juz (featuring Elizabeth) – LOVE INSANE
no lyrics

Chris Garneau – LOVE ZOMBIE

eat and sleep and shun
your mother she’s the one
who gets all your goats
and herds them up two hills
with rotten oats

apple orchard goat
the place you loved the most
your holy frightened ghost

your heart
they liked the meat
it was too tough to eat
to chew and grind with teeth
to chew and grind with teeth
your love zombies

and all those men!
you beast!
you beast!
you beast!
you beast!

jeffrey…

Craig Armstrong (featuring Elizabeth) – THIS LOVE

This Love
This Love is a strange love
I’m afraid it can remain love
This Love

This Love
I’m think I’m gonna fall again
And even when you held my hand
It didn’t mean a thing
This Love

This Love
Never has to stay Love
Doesn’t know it is Love
This Love

This Love
It doesn’t have to feel Love
Doesn’t need to be Love
It doesn’t have to mean a thing
This Love

This Love
This Love
has a strange Love, strange Love

This Love
This Love
has a strange Love, a strange Love
(doesn’t have to mean a thing/think I’m gonna fall again)

This Love….

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