Grey Gardens HBO Trailer

Reading time: 3 – 4 minutes

I am about to cry with excitement over this latest promo!

I think Drew Barrymore may very well be able to pull this off, which is most everyone’s concern over her role as “Little Edie.” But this just looks great. Subtle, no caricaturization, maybe even too downplayed, but this was going to be an impossible role for anyone and I say “kudos” to Drew for having the guts.

Today I was contacted by Sara Maysles, daughter of Albert Maysles, one of the brothers who created the original documentary, through Twitter because of the last Grey Gardens entry, and I have to say, I am not just elated that she took the time to connect, but also that we have the technology and apps like Twitter to do so!

I am happy and honored to be a part of any promotions related to this wonderful story of these extraordinary people. Speaking of which, how glorious is THIS!

FROM: Free News Projects

Grey Gardens

Free News Projects is proud to announce the upcoming release of Grey Gardens.
One of the strangest and subtlest films ever made, the Maysles Brothers’ 1975 documentary Grey Gardens today boasts as devoted a following as One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest or Harold and Maude. Shot at Grey Gardens, the dilapidated East Hamptons mansion of “Big Edie” and “Little Edie” Beale, aunt and cousin to Jackie Onassis, this classic of cinema vérité tracks the Beales’ eccentric and sequestered lives—which consist mostly of doing nothing, but with a mesmerizing zest and volubility. Little Edie’s magical aphorisms (“Raccoons and cats become a little bit boring,” she sighs towards the end of the film, “I mean for too long a time…”) are gems of unwitting camp, and between her observations, her costumes, the incredibly bizarre mother-daughter tensions, the cats, raccoons and the beautiful ruins of Grey Gardens itself, “doing nothing” amounts to everything; indeed, it amounts to a tragicomedy of enormous emotional punch.

This eclectic volume offers a myriad of collaged illustrations, photographs, film stills, production notes and other archival materials alongside transcripts of the Beale’s own stories and conversations edited from unreleased Grey Gardens sound recordings. Structured to mirror the Maysles’ own approach to the world of the Beales, it closely resembles the enchanting clutter of the mansion, a self-contained world littered with mementos and telling ephemera. It also reproduces unpublished photographs by Albert Maysles and David Maysles. With an introduction by Albert Maysles, drawings and illustrations by Albert’s daughter, Rebekah Maysles, and an appendix with the full transcript of Grey Gardens, as well as an audio cd of sound recordings capturing the Beales at their best, this book is the essential companion to the film and a beautiful testimony to its legacy.

The sixty minute CD also included with the book will contain conversations with the Beales and their friends, songs and poetry recited by the two Edie Beales, as well as audio of the Beales during and after watching the film Grey Gardens for the first time.

myTLE PRESENTS: Music From Between The Worlds

Reading time: 8 – 14 minutes

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tlemusiclogoToday marks the release of my first-ever attempt at podcasting music! YAY!

I’ve always wanted to do this and I am not beyond being anything but amateur, but it’s nice to be able to put this together for friends, students, and listeners who are interested in hearing some great artists who may not be so easily found. The music genres will span across many genres, but most of it will be just beautiful in some way, beautiful and poignant and inspiring.

I’ve submitted this to iTunes, so you should be able to synch your ipods soon… just search for “truthloveenergy” or “music from between the worlds” or “troy tolley,” and you should find it. You may find my other podcasts in the process, but this all-music podcast is called “Music From Between The Worlds.”

I’d like to package the podcasts into themes that are playfully explored in some way. This first podcast is about exploring our feelings of being lost, disoriented, and challenged in life, but finding our way through! So make sure you listen through to the end!

All of the artists in these podcasts have provided their music as “podsafe,” which means all of it is legal and independent. Please buy their music through any the sites that are linked to the artists’ sites, which are included below, with lyrics so you can sing along during the show!

EPISODE ONE: MARCH 2009 – LOST and FOUND (play below or at top of post)

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SANAGI – rabbit hole
http://www.sanagimusic.com

Once upon a time
I used to go
Beneath the branches of a tree
To a muddy hole
And the rabbit came
And it brought me down

But the rabbit disappeared
Through a small loophole
And I tried to follow up
But was left alone
Didn’t seem to find
My magic road

Dear God above
Where is my road?
(2x)

Dear God above (Dear God above)
Where is my road? (Where is my road?)
(2x)

Then the only magic there
Was my own voice
And I sung my lungs out
I sung my soul
And then began
To realize

Ohhhhh…

Dear God above
Where is my road?
(4x)

Dear God above (Dear God above)
Where is my road? (Where is my road?)
(4x)

Just the other day
I tried to go
Beneath the branches of the tree
To a muddy hole
But the branches had
Grown too long

PLASTIC OPERATOR – home 0207
http://www.plasticoperator.com

A lot of fun in my Chevrolet
as we drive away
i wake up to the sound of brakes
then i check the stop and get off the train

cab’s in a traffic jam
i am stuck again
an old couple stares at me
and then they agree
they’ve mistaken me

mistaken for someone nice
i wish they were right
how could i give you up
declare a sudden stop
cancel common luck

i’m coming home
it’s not something you know about
but it is allowed

i don’t know when i’ll be coming home
’cause you don’t have the time
you don’t know where i am coming from
’cause you don’t care

thinking about what i should have done
now seems so wrong
taking off for the second part
it feels to me like a brand new start

wasted my time when i was away
but as people say
only fools never change their mind
they sit and wait for better times

i’m coming home
it’s not something you know about
but it is allowed

i don’t know when i’ll be coming home
’cause you don’t have the time
you don’t know where i am coming from
’cause you don’t care

you couldn’t be home
if you weren’t sure
you’re wasting your time
you cannot decide

ANN DRISCOL – i need a reason
www.myspace.com/anndriscoll

If I could learn to sing
My voice would soar like a bird’s
If we could learn to love
We’d find it’s what we prefer (to hating)

I need what everybody needs
I need a reason to believe
I’m not alone in the world

If we could hold our tongues
We’d finally have something to say
If we could lose control
We might start to get it our way (I bet you)

Wanna know what everybody needs (I’ll tell you)
We need a reason to believe
We’re not alone in the world
If we could read the news

We’d wake from our ignorant bliss
And when we sit in pews
Learn how to love and assist (and not hate)
I need what everybody needs
I need a reason to believe
We’re not alone in the world
We will be loved by a boy or a girl
A change is coming our way
It might unravel today

46BLIS – in a long time
http://www.46bliss.com

I saw stars around your feet once
Little lights like fish you swim in
Took off your hat you turned your chin and
Time stood still on St.Marks Place

We walked up thru hills of times like
This and times like those we felt the
Heat of all the years
I filled my head and spilled my tears

In a long time
In a long time
In a long time
I will see you

In a long time
In a long time
In a long time
I will see you

I saw time around your feet once
Little seas that blink and shimmer
Flowing on your coat of arms you
Made your mark you take your place

In a long time
In a long time
In a long time
I will see you

In a long time
In a long time
In a long time
I will see you

[heat of all the years] X 3

In a long time
In a long time
In a long time
I will see you

In a long time
In a long time
In a long time
I will see you

I saw stars around your feet once
Little lights like fish you swim in
Took off your hat you turned your chin and
Time stood still on St. Marks Place
We walked up thru hills of times like
This and times like those we felt the
Heat of all the years
I will see you

LOVESPIRALS – motherless child (karmacoda remix)
http://www.lovespirals.com

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
A long, long way from home
A long, long way from home

Sometimes I feel like I’m almost gone
Sometimes I feel like I’m almost gone
Sometimes I feel like I’m almost gone
A long, long way from home
A long, long way from home

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like I’m almost gone
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
A long, long way from home
A long, long way from home

HUNGRY LUCY – storm (carried away)
http://www.hungrylucy.com

Don’t you bring me no sunshine today
I need the grey skies and the rain
You never understand my pain
I need the wind to blow it away

Afternoon showers for me
The coldness is all that I see
It numbs my pain so deep
The storm it will rock me to sleep

Rain
Will wash away my sorrow
Clouds
Make me see the light
Wind
Carries me away
To the place
I want to be

Alone in the dark sky tonight
I feel the thunder will make it alright
Lightning strikes me down to you
Love of the darkness will help me through

Rain
Will wash away my sorrow
Clouds
Make me see the light
Wind
Carries me away
To the place
I want to be

HOWARD JONES – just look at you now
http://www.howardjones.com

I’ve known you since you were a girl
When things just didn’t work out for you
I said don’t crack up and see both sides
But you kept on blaming the world for everything
I tried to tell you that you were in control
But you didn’t seem to listen to a word I say
But I’m never giving up giving up on you (I try to )
Help you see the world in a different way

Hey Yeah – just look at you now
Riding on a silver wave
That keeps on going
Through the sun and through the rain
Through the good and the bad times
Through the joy and through the pain
Hey look at you now
See what you’ve become

Now look me in the eye, now and tell me straight
Did you find it hard to tell me everything
I said things can only get better dear
But they won’t if you don’t lift a finger to help me
What’s the point in taking this human form
If we can’t understand the point of living here
Who would ever want to live alone
Without sharing this world with everyone and everything

Just look at you now
Riding on a silver wave
That keeps on going
Through the sun and through the rain
Through the good and the bad times
Through the joy and through the pain
Hey look at you now

See what you’ve become

HOWARD JONES – building our own future
http://www.howardjones.com

People cryin’ out for some peace
There’s a lot of people listening
Time for us to sit down and talk
Try to build an understanding

What we feel can be altered in the moment we decide,
Between the light and the dark side.

So take a stand, in this place,
Cos’ we’re building our own future,
Just one by one,
Day by day,
Free to choose a life that’s better for all of us.

Putting people’s lives at the top
Is the first consideration
Changes in the heart of just one
Will affect entire nations

Don’t give it up to the fates and force around us,
We decide between the in and the outside

So take a stand, in this place,
Cos’ we’re building our own future,
Just one by one,
Day by day,
Free to choose a life that’s better for all of us.

Sons and daughters,
Mothers and fathers,
Sister’s and brothers,
Friends around the earth.
All deserve to live in a world that welcomes every single birth.

So take a stand, in this place,
Cos’ we’re building our own future,
Just one by one,
Day by day,
Free to choose a life that’s better for all of us.

So take a stand, in this place,
Cos’ we’re building our own future,
Just one by one,
Day by day,
free to choose a life that’s better for all of us.

So take a stand, in this place,
Cos’ we’re building our own future,
Just one by one,
Day by day,
Free to choose a life that’s better for all of us.

Vlog: Wish U Were Here

Reading time: 2 – 2 minutes

I fly more often than I prefer to fly, but there is a kind of terrifying delight in doing it, much like going on a roller coaster. You know something horrible could go wrong, but you do it anyway, and with flying, it’s for practical reasons, too, not just for fun.

And when I fly, I have to have a window seat. I have to be able to look out and see what’s happening, where we are… it’s some kind of pseudo sense of control. But I also like the window seat because of the amazing experience of watching the world move by from so far above it.

I know there are people who take flying for granted, but every time I fly, I am in awe that this hunk of metal and all of these people can move from the ground into the sky and through the clouds for hours at a time and then back down to the ground, safely (most of the time).

So with my new Kodak zi6 in hand, a gift from @Aquarianick, I caught footage of what I see when I fly.

Wish you were there…


CocteauBoy VLOG: Wish U Were Here from CocteauBoy on Vimeo.

How To Be My Boyfriend (redux)

Reading time: 6 – 10 minutes

It Takes TwoI wrote an entry long ago, just before moving to The Netherlands, about “how to be my boyfriend.”  It was kind of a tongue-in-cheek response to my blossoming relationship with Jip at the time, since we had some really great conversations about what to expect of each other in our moving in together, etc.

The past couple of years before Jip had been a weird time for boyfriends for me.  I had one boyfriend dump me out of nowhere (just before his trip to Fire Island, mmm hmmm), and he became the only boyfriend to never speak to me again.  That was really weird for me.

Then I went out with another guy within that following year whom I truly adored, but it slowly became apparent that he was into some serious drugs and he was getting really pushy and frustrated about our not having sex, (I am slooowww to get into bed, sorry) so I put an end to that.  We are still friends, thank goodness, because I adore him, but you can’t force your way into my pants, or guilt me into sex.

So before diving in to my relationship with Jip, I had a serious think about what is important to me in a relationship, since I tend to be so flexible and adaptable.  Jip encouraged me to draw out some harder lines of clarity, which was really refreshing.  So I did it.

Now, almost 2 years since my breakup with Jip, I am on the verge of feeling interested in dating again.  Barely.  On the verge.  I don’t know.  I feel bad for whomever dates me, next, because if people thought I was “slow” before, I’m even slower now.  I fall in love from the head, down; not from the crotch, up.  Apparently, that’s rare.  Also, because of how I fall in love, I can tend to transform a boyfriend into a friend in the blink of an eye, shifting everything into a platonic tone instead of the intimate, sexual, long-term commitment that I would have wanted.  That’s why I have so many ex-boyfriends-come-friends. I love that, but it might be nice for one of them to realize that an intimate relationship isn’t the same as the ones we see on TV or in porn.

But god help my next boyfriend.  I’m going to probably be a bit more aloof, slow-motion, and tentative than ever in my life.

Here are the things I defined as important to me.  So if you are going to pursue me, these things have to find resonance with you in some way because I’m really interested in what a relationship might be like for me to have it clearly-defined before getting into it, instead of just rolling with it and adapting as I go.  I have NO regrets for doing that in the past because I have had some wonderful, beautiful boyfriends who have gone on to become some the most important people in my life, so this is just out of curiosity; an experiment.  I mean, why not?  Right?

Below are my updated Deal MAKERS.  That means if you find resonance with a lot of these, I would probably love the hell out of you, even as a friend.

DEAL MAKERS

  • Socially graceful, friendly, and actually likes people
  • Loves reading together (quietly, or out loud to each other)
  • Loves being playful, in general, without thinking he is “too old” or “too mature” or “too cool” or that it’s “too stupid” for silly playfulness
  • Loves color and brightness and appreciates toys as part of a home
  • Finds laughter to be an intimate bonding factor
  • Vegan, Vegetarian, or on his way to either of those
  • Sees animals as valid, feeling Beings who are not to be exploited, enslaved, farmed, worn, or eaten
  • Questions the very nature of reality and enjoys long, thoughtful conversations about such things
  • Finds benefit in discussing issues that arise as conflicts, differences, or insecurities between us
  • Is naturally monogamous and finds that to be exciting, sexual, and sensual, and not a weird, resentful burden
  • Finds it thought-provoking, inspiring, and almost obligatory to question against mainstream conclusions about life, events, and truths
  • Finds insecurities to be something to soothe and heal, not to use against each other, or to feel are burdens
  • Is not religious, but spiritual
  • Is not political, but aware
  • Feels good about considering the impact of our choices on each other, and does not feel burdened by that extra step in thinking
  • Does not smoke and understands why it’s a violation to ones personal space when around it in public (I’ve added this one for two reasons: kissing a smoker is gross, sorry; and if you can’t understand why no person’s habits should be something another person should be forced to partake in, then you probably don’t have a clear idea about appreciating shared space; honoring shared space (e.g. public space) is not the same thing as taking away people’s right to choose and do what they want)

So, those are some of the obvious DEAL MAKERS, but here are some deadly deal breakers, because no matter how much is being fulfilled in my deal maker list, these are the things that can ruin EVERYTHING:

DEADLY DEAL BREAKERS

These are words that will stop my relationship with you in its tracks, or seriously derail us to the point of needing a very long recovery:

  • What?! You have got to be kidding me! Animals are MEANT to be used for food and clothing! Humans are carnivores!
  • I really don’t see what the problem is if I feel like kissing another guy or flirting with him in front of you (or behind your back)… it’s JUST a kiss, for god’s sake. And we all need that extra attention from time to time.
  • I’ve cheated on you.” (or finding out that he’s cheated on me)
  • I already know everything I need to know about myself; I’m not really interested in learning more.
  • Oh my god, get OVER it!
  • I lied to you.

Those are just a few of the obvious deal breakers, but the list doesn’t include the even-more obvious ones of violating Honesty, Communication, and Integrity, which are basic ingredients to a successful, intimate relationship. If those three things are violated in any way, there is trouble.

And I’d like to point out that I DO understand the need for attention from others, even as flirtation and even while in a monogamous relationship, but there is a way to allow room for that without it being a violation to your honesty, communication, commitment, and integrity.

Also, I don’t like the word “cheating,” but I guess it’s the only word to use to describe someone who tells you one thing and then does another thing. If you enter a relationship KNOWING what is important to me, and you stand strongly with me to encourage that mutual agreement, and then you cheat (on any level: emotionally, physically, etc), then it’s not about the act, itself, but about your lack of integrity and honesty that has destroyed our intimacy, not the actual “cheating.” If want to have sex with someone else, or you are so empty that you need to encourage affections, attention, and flirtations to an extent that keeps you from being honest and open with me, then just leave the relationship FIRST.  I don’t need or want an open relationship, even though I know many find them to be successful and fulfilling.  They just aren’t for me.  I’ve been there, done that, and frankly, don’t need or want the experience again.

You should be prepared to have the guts to communicate and be honest, or just leave me, before you would have to cheat on us.

I don’t need to impose my rules on anyone, but I’ve accepted that it’s okay for me to have some preferences and boundaries.

So there…

It’s on record. Again.

Okay boys, don’t all fight over me at once. Get in an orderly line, please. (heh heh)

When Life Gives You Lemons…

Reading time: 2 – 4 minutes

Well, people did not like that I had my morbidly mopey moment yesterday when posted the balloon song, so I just The Boy Least Likely Towant to clarify that I DO NOT feel permanently like the song sings… I just thought it a rather universal feeling we all can relate to at one point or another.

So on a much lighter note, I wanted to give your theme song for the week ahead! For the year ahead! Of course, this song is far more along the lines of a Troy Theme for life… Sing along with me now!

Still in celebration of THE BOY LEAST LIKELY TO releasing their wonderful, delightful, adult playsongs and lullabies, here is: WHEN LIFE GIVES ME LEMONS, I MAKE LEMONADE from their new album, THE LAW OF THE PLAYGROUND.

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I’ve been up
I’ve been down
I’ve always got my head in the clouds
Hoping that I can find
One of them that’s silver-lined
I don’t care
It could rain
All at once on my parade
Because when life gives me lemons
I make lemonade
lemons, I make lemonade

The Law of the Playground

I’ve got a bucket
Filled it with raindrops
Then i put it in the fridge
And now whenever the sun is shining
I make rainbows out of it
I’ve always been a hopeless romantic
Things don’t always go our way
There’s not a lot you can do with lemons
Except make them into lemonade, lemonade, lemonade

I’ve been up
I’ve been down
I’ve always got my head in the clouds
Hoping that I can find
One of them that’s silver-lined
I don’t care
It could rain
All at once on my parade
Because when life gives me lemons
I make lemonade
lemons, I make lemonade

I wake up every morning feeling sad
And I sleep with a light on
Sometimes you go to places in your dreams
That are hard to get back from
And I don’t know what it is I’m afraid of
I just know that I’m afraid
There’s not a lot you can do with lemons
Except make them into lemonade, lemonade, lemonade

I’ve been up
I’ve been down
I’ve always got my head in the clouds
Hoping that I can find
One of them that’s silver-lined
I don’t care
It could rain
All at once on my parade
Because when life gives me lemons
I make lemonade
lemons, I make lemonade